How to manage your money so it strengthens your marriage

Laurent Harnett
October 25, 2023

If we are honest, money is part of our thoughts 24/7. It is also one of the top 4 reasons that couples get divorced…

How do you create a rhythm in your marriage where money is a tool and not a tyrant?

Here are 4 basic principles to help you and your spouse manage your money in a way that strengthens your marriage.

  1. Just like decluttering your house, find a “spot” for every cent you make. Otherwise known as a budget! Budgets have a bad reputation of being very restricting and a “happiness killer”. But the opposite is the truth. Budgets let you allot for everything that you want, and because it is planned and accounted for, there is no guilt! Have you ever bought a new pair of shoes and did not want to tell your spouse about it? Was it because they were more expensive than you were planning for? Or maybe your spouse is not a shoe person, so they would never think money should be spent like this. The budgeting solution? Put it in your budget! Remember to be honest when making your budget. Question: What are the necessities (bills, food, clothes, haircuts, etc.) and what are the wants (eating out, date night, vacations, gym membership, etc.). You work your budget, do not let your budget work you. Be truthful about what you want your money to do for you. Sometimes it may feel like sacrifice and “not fun” but knowing your financial situation couples gain a sense of freedom they do not get from not knowing.

  2. Guilt free spending? Yes please! Create a weekly personal allowance for you and your spouse. This is your “free pass” money. Question: How much per week do each of you get no questions asked? Freedom! Starbucks here we come! Tie collection, no problem. Decide upon an amount that each of you will get each week and make it a rolling amount. What is that you ask? It means that if you do not spend your full amount each week, it carries over into the next week. Where are all my savers at? This should be music to your ears! You can use this up week by week (where are all my spenders at?), or if there is something just for you that you have been wanting to splurge on then save up for a few weeks and get it! Guilt. Free.

  3. Make the world a better place. Be generous. Not only does it feel amazing to give gifts to friends and family, but it helps your view of money stay positive. Money can get stressful especially when you do not think you have enough of it. By staying generous, donating to a cause, or giving to individual situations, you will see how money can be used to better the world around you. It will be harder to get stuck in survival mode when you see the positive impact you are making by giving generously. Question: What cause do you want to give to? What positive impact do you want to make with your money?

  4. An amazing and promising future. Dream big dreams for yourself and your family! Ask yourself this: Question: What would you do if money were not an issue?. Keep dreams alive and keep money in its place. If money starts to feel like the gatekeeper to your happiness or to your dreams coming true, then you have given it too much power. Money comes and goes, your dreams do not. When you take the time to dream personally and as a couple positive energy loops are created. When you are in a positive state of mind then creativity comes alive. When creativity comes alive, you will be able to create ways to make your dreams a reality! You can make more money or shift and change your focus for the money you are already making. But, without a direction to head in, your money can not be focused to get you there.

I hope these tools help you and your spouse gain clarity on what your money should be doing to support your relationship. It can be very useful and help you attain the life you want together.

Laurent Harnett
October 25, 2023

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